Our story starts in Ealing Broadway, where Santa was thinking about how to bring the world something positive this Christmas. He gave out all the presents last week, he didn't have any reindeer with him, and he had only had shorts, t-shirts, gloves and a Santa hat to keep him warm. And the temperatures started dropping. Suddenly, Santa spotted a man running towards him.

I accidentally obtained large quantities of doughnuts, announced the runner after coming to a complete stop.

It was a Doughnut Dealer, looking for new clientele. In his shadow was a Picker Dealer, trading different kinds of goods: litter pickers, hoops, waste bags. Santa pictured that night he could bring bin bags full of doughnuts to everyone in need of something sweet, yet he needed some helpers to make that happen. Just when Santa was thinking about it, another character appeared, who looked like he could run far and carry a lot. Santa hired him to be the Prime Elf in his business.

The Doughnut Dealer knew where to find more elves for Santa - in dark alleyways where he traded doughnuts. Those elves are patient and powerful - the only thing they need is something tasty to keep them going. All four decided to run to keep Santa warm. They ran through Walpole Park, along Lammas Park, emerged near St Mary's Church, passed South Ealing station and made it to the border with Brentford, at the back of South Ealing Cemetery. There, they found an alleyway and an elf whom Santa recruited as his Ultimate Elf, and he knew he wouldn't need more helpers.

The quintet needed to find their way back to civilisation. They decided to take the shady path between two parts of the cemetery, so they switched on the head torches and dived into darkness. The Picker Dealer gave everyone a free litter picker for self-defence. On their way to Pope's Lane, the group discovered and collected cans, bottles, chocolate wrappers, underwear, a clubcard and a grill rack. Everyone seemed so fascinated by the litter that the picking didn't stop even when they reached the road, where they found copious amounts of neatly compressed Perła beer cans that nicely fitted in the litter bags. Santa by that time heard several shoutouts that made him feel that what he was doing was the right thing.

The Santa's Crew ended up in backstreets parallel to South Ealing Road. Just behind Co-Op, they stepped into a gold mine: bushes full of empty bottles hidden in them. After clearing that covert drinking spot, Santa didn't feel the need to distribute doughnuts in bin bags anymore. The bags were full of litter and had to be tied and dropped next to the nearest bin. Now was the time to celebrate success. Rewarded by the Doughnut Dealer with sweet treats, the gang stopped at a local pub to get warm and chat.

Santa might be busy at Christmas but his crew will be back in action in January - join them now!