Sunday 21st May 2017
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Report written by Mridula Iyer
Picture Perfect!
Good Morning Goodgymmers! This week, three goodgymmers (Beth, Neil and Mridula (me)) went on, what was initially, the world's shortest mission, to Ms. S to help her hang up some pictures.
After an eventful bus journey (there was initially what looked like a romantic encounter between a man and a woman and then it ended in a punch up, all before 10:11 in the morning on the 286), and a cat that distracted me for 8 minutes on the walk over, I rocked up to the mission. Neil had gone on his own adventure to a castle and got lost. Beth, being the goodgym veteran that she is, went straight to the mission location, and did not get distracted by shiny/furry/turret-y things along the way.
We entered Ms. S's house at 10:34, where she showed us the picture and the nails for it that were already in the wall. There was a bit of trickiness with the the banister, but by 10:35, we had completed the mission. Much like a hard core meat eater who goes to a vegan cafe for lunch, we felt very unsatisfied. Provide us with more Ms. S, we demanded. Joking aside, it's always worth asking, because if you've come all that way, you might as well.
Ms. S produced a lovely picture that she wanted glued to the wall, but wasn't sure how to go about it. There was no hook and there was a protruding stand at the back of the picture. Whilst Beth and Neil, looked flummoxed*, I mentally put my underpants on over my running leggings, and said “We can do this. I have a degree in engineering and have watched Macgyver”. Initially we thought it would be as simple as putting some glue on at the back of the picture and sticking it to the wall. Beth held the picture in place whilst practising some calf stretches. When she let go, the picture fell off. This was not ideal. And there was a massive glue stain on the wall. Not ideal either.
Neil decided, at this point, to do something that no man in the history of existence had ever done before. He read the instructions on how to use the glue. As it turns out you had to dampen the back of the picture, and then apply the glue and hold it for ONE TO TWO HOURS! We decided that there was a better way to do this and went back to Ms. S to find out what she had in her kitchen drawer to help us do this. She produced: A stanley knife, a regular knife, duct tape, pencils, blue tack, and pliers. Ms. S, if I ever need to cover up a crime, I will look for all the tools in your kitchen drawer. We managed to pry the protruding part of the frame off, and then with a combination of blue tack, glue and optimism we fixed the picture to the wall. We rejoiced for being victorious, but also decided to make a sharpish exit whilst Ms. S still thought the best of us and our handiwork was intact.
Whilst all of this was going on, I managed to interrogate Beth and Neil for my anecdotes. However, as I was interrogating, I realised I had found my soul mates during a goodgym mission. Neil, who looks like he dad dances (sorry Neil), was once in a Korean Pop Video as a part of a national level hip hop dance troupe. As the proud owner of an inflatable dinosaur costume, it's nice to meet someone who does things that go against "normal", and moves to Korea and says yes to every opportunity that comes his way. He also got his black belt in Tae Kwan Do whilst he was there. Beth was on the bus with me home when I asked her about if she wanted to make a detour for some vegan hot dogs. She said yes, and then uttered the words “the condiments are more important than the meat”. Being a condiment gal myself, I looked at her with the same intensity and affection, that two London bus drivers do when they pass each other on the road. Beth and Neil, we shared something today. Did you feel it too? I think we should become some kind of crime fighting squad, where Beth only eats condiments, Neil hip hop dances in the back ground, and I do all the heavy lifting because, quite frankly, I carried you both on this mission.**
If you've not done a mission yet, dear reader, I encourage you to get yourselves mission verified. I can guarantee you will make some really awesome friends! Till next time folks!
They weren't flummoxed. I just like to make myself feel smarter than others because I need the validation. * I did not carry them. They did everything. I just like to make myself feel more useful than others, because I need the validation. *** Neil, I found the video. All of you, if you want to see Neil, look out for the guy in a purple hoodie and bandanna. It's brief but he appears at timestamp 3:03! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXZqAqhcvtc.
Greenwich
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