"IT'S JUST LIKE WOOLWICH" Gary shouted down the phone, "YEA A RIVER AND A DEAD RAT". Gary had left had reluctantly left woolwich for culture, history and new experiences settling in the serene picturesc town of Venice. Gary, or crazy gazza as his friendly neighbourhood acquaintances called him looked around. The medieval bridges, traditional venetian gondolas and sweet aroma of fresh market vegetables held a faint whiff of the exotic but these were not the scenes of a promised land. This place had more than one working ferry, a dead rat and a river. "IT'S RUBBISH... NO THEY DON'T SERVE PINTS OR SPEAK ENGLISH". Never again would he let himself be dragged away from his beloved woolwich to somewhere basically identical.

He opened his picture album and flicked through pictures of the woolwich ferry, stone statues and Sam's chicken with tears forming in his eyes.