I had lots of jokes ready about England losing and Southgate not being all that, but then we won. Oops. Expect a less funny report…

Even before the session, Fay set the group chat alight with details of just how much of a bargain her old people's befriending lunch was. Andy’s no stranger to wrinkles or a joke, and proved it by turning up with a bag of Werther’s Originals for us all. Well, when you’ve got a free bus pass and a discount with your Saga membership, why not?

It’s been a while since we did a litter pick and wow, did it show. Gunning for an early finish ~~just like the Three Lions~~ we’d decided to litter pick locally rather than running across town, but Saeed and Erin didn’t even make it out of the car park before pulling nasty stuff out of the greenery. It seems every hedgehog in Chelmsford is mad for a few cans of Stella and CBD vapes. Either that, or people can’t take their own rubbish to a bin…

Still riding the sugar high of his Werther’s gag, Grandad Andy actually found a zimmer frame. Honestly. After taking some photos to prove it, and making sure that there wasn’t anyone nearby who it belonged to, we moved the frame away from the middle of the car park where it had been abandoned.

Usually, we do about 5km each session. This time though, we were barely halfway to the Bunny Walks and the bags were already getting full. Richard was on a roll and managed to pull several beer cans from where someone had necked a six-pack and was too drunk to tell the difference between a bin and a hedge.

If all this doesn’t sound very active, we did also have to constantly dodge bikes and e-scooters. The only pedestrian we saw actually stopped and said thanks for cleaning the path up. Kind stranger – if you’re reading this, thank you in return and why not come to see us at a session sometime?

Festivals were the chat topic of the day – we’re going to the Chelmsford beer one next Thursday evening, but Angela will be at a different one with fewer badly-named drinks (2023 was not a vintage year for Filthy Tramp Juice – just ask Fay and Erin). Angela is also missing women-only festival Camp VC to do some DIY at home, because #HouseEveryWeekend. What does the VC stand for? No idea, but Laurie and Joe had fun guessing.

The usual suspects will be at Parkrun this weekend and praying it’s drier than last Saturday! We’ll also bring the GoodPub spirit to the beer festival – apologies in advance for the terrible Hawaiian costumes. In the meantime, run happy! And if you’re one of the people who litters, GET IN THE BIN.