The brief for last night's run report was 'trashy romantic/sexy novel'. John Hunter has fulfilled this magnificently. Enjoy.

To be read poolside, with a margarita in one hand and a poolboy in the other. i guess the story would therefore be propped on some kind of stand.

'finally it came - the time rebecca had been impatiently waiting for. this night, tuesday night, when she would be reunited with faith at the food bank. yes, rebecca still feared to the core of her very being that, if people ever found out about her love for faith, they wouldn’t understand - it mainly being a love of her charitable efforts, after all - but, rebecca thought to herself, “if there is ever a bunch of open-minded people who will be up for a bit of group action, it’s lambeth good gym”. and so, clinging together in the shadows of pullross road, steam and clouds hot breath rising from their able bodies, rebecca led her new accomplices towards her love - hear heart beating like a subway train (mainly because she was quite tired).

As the run reached its climax, the tension was almost unbearable. the sound of clinking cans and jostling jars reached a crescendo as rebecca (who was leading from the back - it gave her the view she liked the best) entered faith’s domain. but wait - "what’s this? where’s faith? and where’s all the food?” rebecca cried, breathlessly. just then the sturdy, manful figure of neil from the foodbank hoved into view - he was ready for the group to sort his cans, alright. before rebecca could even make her mind up one way or another about whether she could ever weigh her jam for anyone other than faith, the group had all got stuck in with neil and had become so excited that they brought neil’s task to completion in a matter of two minutes. “gosh, that was over quickly” exclaimed a wide-eyed neil, with a tone of apology and disappointment in his voice. “i told you we were good”, rebecca shot back, with a glint in her eye as she surveyed her muscular team.

“now, seeing as that’s over so quickly, i think we need another way to use up all this energy” said rebecca, with a new resolve in her voice. “i know”, she said, eyes narrowing and glutes tensing in preparation, “let’s everyone chase george back to base”. george gulped audibly and backed towards the door - this night, tuesday night, was what he had been training for'.