I'd rather be a red kite than a snail
Yes I would, If I could, I surely would

A majestic red kite soared gracefully through the blue Hanwell sky, circling above Mr and Mrs K's house in search of prey. All the magnificent bird saw were Sevan and Kash in black GoodGym t-shirts, circling around a half-rotten cabinet in the back garden. Mrs K wanted that wretched piece of furniture to vanish along with its contents, ideally without involving a council collection. She had a man & van lined up to pick up some junk that would not fit in the black bin, but as there was still space in the bin, why not use it to its full potential?

The stench emanating from the cabinet was absolutely unbearable, a putrid, rotten smell making the toughest GoodGymers' eyes water. Sevan and Kash kept pulling dirty carrier bags, old shoes and rusty pots from the cupboard, wondering what might have died inside, but all they were finding were occasional snails and slugs, very much alive.

I'd rather be a sledgehammer than a nail
Yes I would, If I only could, I surely would

Behind the cabinet, the GoodGymers discovered a pickaxe in very good condition and a rusty sledgehammer. The latter was an excellent find as Mrs K wanted the furniture to be broken down into pieces and was planning to bring a hammer for that purpose. Mrs K's hammer never made it outside as Kash was too excited and smashed the cabinet into pieces with the sledgehammer and her feet. Feet was the favourite tool for Sevan. He didn't need such toys as a sledgehammer. Stomping at cabinet shelves and doors was his trademark dance. Sevan also broke the base of an old wooden chair with a powerful kick, while Kash was only reaching for the sledgehammer to deal with that piece of furniture. She quickly hammered each of the slats before Sevan stole the rest of the fun.

'This is how Kash plays the piano' - Sevan.

Mrs K's parrot, Tin Tin, watched the demolition from behind the window without blinking an eye. In the meantime, the energetic Mrs K was carrying some of the rubbish to fill the black bin. When she was carrying a badly corroded tin to the front of the house, the handle broke, and the whole thing crashed on concrete, raising a cloud of powdered rust and a terrible smell into the air. Now, it became clear where the horrific stench was coming from. The overwhelming odour filled the backyard, and it didn't seem to make any difference that everything was happening outdoors.

The GoodGymers asked what was in the tin. Mrs K recalled that she had put lentils in it about three years ago. The story about the well-matured daal was a hard sell, but it was a narrative comfortable to believe in, so Sevan and Kash chose not to ask more questions.

I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would, If I only could, I surely would

The disgraceful cabinet disappeared. What was left consisted of small debris scattered over concrete and, of course, the odour. The GoodGymers couldn't do anything about the latter but they could sweep the remains of the cabinet. The problem was that there was no dustpan, and Mrs K was adamant she would not sacrifice her kitchen equipment to clear the foul, rotten litter. Sevan and Kash rummaged through the unbagged rubbish and found a musty carpet perfect for the job. Some of the readers might have tried in the past sweeping things - especially of unsightly or smelly nature - under the carpet. Sevan and Kash's manoeuvre was of a higher grade than that: sweeping things over the carpet. It was the only way to bag them and finish with the ordeal of the cabinet.

The mission was far from over. The task was advertised as a gardening job, so the rubbish removal must have been only a warm-up. Mrs K had pruning to be done in the garden and had only one pair of loppers available - the famous tenner loppers Kash had used in June. The trees behind the fence had grown again, and one of the GoodGymers had to climb the step ladder and sit on top of the flimsy shed roof to cut them back before they attacked Mrs K's garden. It was a pleasure to feel the earth under their feet again after the GoodGymer descended to the ground level.

I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would, If I only could, I surely would

Kash spent the remainder of the mission acting as Mrs K's hands and muscles as the lady directed her every move, pointing to the exact brambles or rose stems to snip. Mrs K also collected all the cuttings immediately, leaving Sevan to watch the red kite gliding effortlessly across the sky with poise and grace. Feeling under-utilised, Sevan engaged himself in rogue weeding in flower beds.

When it was time to go, the GoodGymers politely said no to the comfort of Mrs K's house and the offer of coffee and cold drinks. Instead, they hit the road and picked up the pace, gliding through the Hanwell and Ealing streets like the red kite glid through the invisible currents in the sky. They imagined they ran through the lush greenery of Grove Farm, weaving between the trees and peaceful sounds of nature, and not between the noises of the traffic and food delivery scooter drivers.