Good Afternoon Goodgymmers! Today's mission seemed like another standard grocery collection and drop off for the lovely Miss V, but there was a massive plot twist (though the title gave it away). Today I finally succumbed to the wondrous beast that is the shopping trolley.

Like any good story there has to be some context setting. When this quarantine started, and the grocery missions started rolling in, I decided to do these with my large backpack in order to emulate a set of brave workers - delivery drivers. They are mythical, atlas like creatures and in possession of the many things I desire: upper body strength (or for that matter strength in any form) and a constantly cheery disposition. I am also a fan of how they load their backpacks on their shoulders, resembling the other mythical creatures of present day - shampoo commercial ladies. Both groups have mastered the jaunty neck flick which means their takeaway filled backpacks/shiny hair always fall gracefully onto their back.

Unfortunately I was a bit overenthusiastic on the neck swishing, and this has resulted in a massive knot in my neck and a whole new level of respect for delivery drivers (not shampoo commercials because those are a photo-shopped lie) who clearly have bionic bodies. As Miss V handed me over a grocery list which was double sided and definitely going to be a heavy one, my neck let out an audible scream and threatened to dislocate itself in protest. But wait! From behind Miss V, he emerged. The magnificent shopping trolley and in Goodgym colours no less!

When I was younger (back in March 2020) I would have turned my nose up at a shopping trolley. They are the high school version of Joe Manganiello (google it you will understand) - just uncool. However as I mature so has the shopping trolley in my eyes. The shopping trolley is now more like Magic Mike Joe Manganiello(google it you will understand).

I strutted jauntily down the high street to the supermarket with Joe Trolleyniello (I've done 20 missions this month, I'm flagging punning front), and I realised that people were more observant of the two metre rule. Perhaps it's because I had the air of confidence of someone who would not have an arthritic neck when they hit their golden years. More likely, it was because I had not mastered a supermodel stride avec trolley, which resulted in Joe Trolleyniello swaying side to side and knocking over an unsuspecting pile of Kellogg's cereal boxes and scaring a dude who was in another world due to his massive noise cancelling headphones.

I finished Miss V's request, but had missed some items because of lack of money, so went to drop off the first set and go back for the last three items. I didn't need the trolley for it, but felt an emotional and physical emptiness, especially because the last item on Miss V's list was a 12 pack of chips which I kept dropping on the way back to her house. Joe Trolleyniello would never have let this happened.

Miss V, thanked me for dropping her items off and I waved a bittersweet goodbye to her and her trolley. As much as I love Joe T, I look forward time where I am not using him because this means that beneficiaries are no longer confined to their houses. But Miss V, when that time comes (hopefully soon) and you just don't feel like doing your shopping, I will still happily reunite with Joe for another fun mission.

Stay safe goodgymmers!