Sunday 2nd July 2023
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Report written by Kash
Mrs J, who recently celebrated her 70th birthday 🎂, lived in a council estate building and was expecting some visitors. Birthday guests were not supposed to be coming for the second round of parties, they were council inspectors, checking whether the residents maintain their flats and surroundings in good shape. Mrs J didn't want to get into trouble. She planned to show off a neat, moss-free pavement in her front garden. The problem was: the slabs were not yet moss-free and she found it difficult to bend her back to get the job done.
There were two more people Mrs J was looking forward to seeing soon: the young people in black T-shirts seeking an occasion to release their pent-up energy 🔥. They had been told that Mrs J was hosting a heavy metal gig at her venue and she had spaces for them right in front of the stage 🧑🏻🎤!
Mrs J welcomed Sevan and Kash, the young people in question, and led them through the corridor to give them a glimpse of the backstage. 'I need you more in the front', she said and guided Sevan and Kash to the front... garden. Not put off by the unusual setting, the metal fans dropped their bags and tightened the laces in their shoes. Sevan was brave enough to keep his glasses on. Mrs J equipped both with wallpaper scrapers, something that could be dangerous when moshing. The young people didn't protest though. Then Mrs J produced a pair of secateurs and gave them to Sevan.
Sevan was asked to cut some very tall holly branches. He put his hands up in the air and waved them like he didn't care. Holly cuttings sprinkled the pavement like beer thrown in the air by an inconsiderate festival goer. Mrs J, seeing the height of the branches, brought a step ladder. Sevan climbed to the top and bush-surfed on his back all the way along the fence, showing off his secateurs riffs 🎸. When the improvisation on secateurs was done, the holly bush looked exactly like Mrs J wanted it to be.
In the meantime, Kash headbanged and worked her scraper to the rhythm of lead secateurs 🥁. Then she entered the moss pit. Her wild pogo dance raised clouds of dust that made her cough but she didn't want to stop. When Sevan joined Kash in the moss pit, the moss, badly trampled, started disappearing from the surface of the pavement.
You're doing marvellous!, exclaimed Mrs J.
She truly sounded like Sevan and Kash's biggest fan. She didn't join the moss pit but collected all the holly cuttings to keep the moss dancers safe.
Kash seemed to be totally in her zone, so Mrs J took Sevan backstage. The behind-the-scenes spot turned out to be enormous. There was another moss pit going on there and an atmosphere of weeds. Sevan had no other option but to use his scraper when getting into the slam as the moss and weeds crowd was going wild. When Kash found out about the party going on at the other side of Mrs J's venue, she dived into the weeds and started pushing and slamming them.
Fantastic job!, Mrs J kept shouting from her seat further away from the stage.
When the dust has fallen and the weeds have been ripped from the gravel, Sevan and Kash returned to the reality of a Sunday afternoon. Mrs J offered them chocolate ice cream but the young people in black T-shirts thought they had enough fun in the moss pit today and didn't need any treats. Besides, they didn't want to be late for a death metal band concert 💀 they had tickets for.
Islington
Joining the lovely resident gardeners at Thornhill Square Gardens for an evening of composting, watering and maintenance