Saturday 13th July
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Report written by Kash
The spectators shrouded in pigeon feathers gathered on the top of Empress H's theatre to watch one of the most ferocious GoodGym games: ivy yanking. A gladiator and a gladiatrix entered the arena as secutors: Sevanus armed with a shears-looking double gladius and a dreadful shield made of dead ivy and Cassia with just a pair of secateurs.
Empress H wanted to feast her eyes, watching the gladiators dispatch the ivy-rose-bush monstrosity obstructing the arena exit. While Sevanus chopped the large branches to later yank them off the green bundle in a feat of strength, Cassia attacked from the back with thousands of rapid cuts with her miniature weapon.
The pair quickly defeated the tangled-up beast and cleared its remnants from the passage out of the theatre. If Empress H is ever in danger, she will have an easy way to escape through the back gate that is now accessible. The Empress was so impressed by the gladiators' prowess that she rewarded them with fresh fruit and sweets.
Ealing
Help run drop-in service on a Friday where homeless can get free clothes and wellbeing services