Water in the Hole!

After their debut as funnel managers at Pitshanger junior parkrun, Sevan and Kash, rather than running back home, hung out at the cafe in Pitshanger Park, as they had other fish to fry in the park. But the fish had to be first fished out from the River Brent!

The GoodGymers met in front of the Pitshanger Bowls Pavilion with Ben - the founder of Clean Up River Brent, Cathy - the leader of LAGER Can, Ranger Jamie and volunteers eager to have a dip in Brent and collect some souvenirs from the Sunday out in the river: the rubbish!

They also met Richard, a volunteer gardener from Walpole Park, who recognised the GoodGymers as the helpers doing the jobs his small group of volunteers wouldn't be able to cover: filling the raised bed and planting and mulching ahead of filming the Antiques Roadshow. Richard was extremely grateful for all the GoodGymers who made impossible jobs possible and reminded Sevan and Kash that the BBC filming takes place today!

Back to Pitshanger Park! After a couple of unsuccessful attempts to get into the river in Pitshanger this year, all volunteers jumped into waders. Ben gave everyone the usual health & safety briefing, mentioning the treacherous depths, current, bacteria and...

"And remember to watch out for that hogweed!" - a passerby.
"Exactly! It is coming..." - Ben.

After viewing some pictures of giant hogweed, the squad of rubbery mermaids and tritons armed with wading poles marched through the park and found a place to descend into the water. This time, it was Jamie's turn to talk about safety rules after entering the river.

"Cathy, how deep are we allowed to go? Was it waist level?"
"Mid-thigh level. Some of us have holes in their bums!"

In case you wondered what kind of people don't have that anatomical feature, you need to know that Cathy's waders had a puncture, well, below the waist level.

The volunteers got into the water in pairs. The GoodGym explorers decided to go in the opposite direction than the mainstream litter pickers and discovered land on the other bank of the river with jungles of hogweed, and litter islands made primarily of carrier bags tangled around tree roots.

Sevan was a bit underwhelmed by the size of the objects he was finding in the water, hoping for a bigger catch, but agreed with Kash that maybe it was a sign that CURB's efforts to keep the river clean were paying off. Later, they found out that the other volunteers excavated a mattress buried in the riverbed.

The GoodGymers could stay only 90 minutes on the task but collected three bags of aquatic litter before running off to prepare for their next gig, with a stop in Walpole Park to check out whether Antiques Roadshow was really there as Richard said.

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Appendix A - Creative process behind report writing

Kash: "I need a pun. And I want something related to that bum quote. And water. Like 'watering bum-hole'. Or, you know there is a phrase: 'water below the bridge'..."
Sevan: "Water under the bridge?"
Kash: "Yeah, that one! 'Water under the bum'!"
Sevan: "There was an MTV show in the nineties called 'Beavis and Butt-Head'. They had this phrase: 'Cornholio'! Maybe 'Bumholio!'? But I don't think it will be accepted."
Kash: "Yes, I think bums are only accepted in the body. Hahaha! Report body, I mean! My quote is almost as good as Cathy's original!"
Sevan: "Maybe we should record this whole conversation in the appendix?"